Confused

After permanently leaving Wahabism and Al-Maghrib-ism in 2012/13, I realized that there's always going to be insane a freakishly weird adherents of certain groups. Being Sunni means you follow the Ash'ari/Maturidi aqeedah + one of the four existing madh'habs but otherwise, one is susceptible is to deviancy and kufr. I always felt like a normal Sunni no matter how much I was brainwashed with the Wahabi doctrine. But after leaving them and joining a tariqa, I realized how many weirdos there are. It's not only the Wahabia that act extremely naive but also a handful of some mureeds of certain turuq. It gets extremely annoying to deal with.

Young "Religious" Muslims in the West

Regardless of me having people read this or not, I most probably would have thought of writing this. All my observations come from observing the self and those around in past times who discussed this with me.

Many of the times when young Muslims, especially in the Western world, start to gain interest in Islam, there are 3 things people tend to the think:

1 - Masha Allah, this kid is very religious,
2 - I hope this kid doesn't become an "extremist", or
3- Mehh, he'll get over this phase.

99.8934% of kids will take the first impression extremely seriously and at times, a little too serious. They start to talk a lot, give small halaqas every time him and his boys chill, and start posting heartfelt Islamic words of wisdom online. This itself is a phase. But when I was experiencing this phase myself, it lasted for a matter of a few months which I was lucky to get away with. One of my friends battled this phase for less than me, but for most it can last a matter of a year or even more. The moment I realized I was going through such a troublesome phase that damages my spiritual state, I turned to Allah and sought His assistance since He Himself instilled in my mind a mature approach to advancing oneself from a certain deficiency. I battled for a few weeks and I eventually moved onto another test from Allah.

Another problem is when he is asked to give a formal lecture - specifically a khutbah. There will be again 3 things that happen:

1 - He starts talking about Sunnis and Shias, or Sunni-Sufis and Salafis/Wahabis,
2 - He starts talking things that don't concern the audience like the fiqh of slaughtering a goat,
3 - He will speak too highly intellectual for the audience and think he's too good for everyone, or
4 - He starts giving a superficial lecture that makes everyone's heart melt.... for attention.

75% of the time, what happens to take place is the fourth one listed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving touchy khutbahs and relate metaphors the entire time to try to connect with the audience, but the problem is the attention they seek with it. I've been in situations in which brothers had confessed to doing so but unfortunately they don't regret it. Besides, it's a great way for future rishtas for them, right? Well, that's what they said.

Also, even those who did not confess to giving khutbahs for such reasons, it was quite clear that they were seeking attention. An example:

Conversation of group of Muslim girls that happen to be attractive and happen to be heard by the khatib as he oh-so-modestly walks by them...

Girl A: This [random topic] needs a lot of attention. I would love for somebody to speak about this!
Girl B: I know, right? We need people to be more brave about speaking about this issue.


5 minutes later in khutbah:
Masha Allah Guy: Brothers and sisters, we must be aware of [topic that the girls were interested in listening to]. We must unite for Allah's sake to change ourselves then go out to change the rest of the world.

This is legitimately a similar real life scenario. But hey, it won't be soon until they meet up at an MSA meeting for an important community dinner at the masjid or local hall; they'll feel the need to exchange numbers. The guy can either play along or he can have no idea of what's going on. Let's go with the former since it's a lot more common in such situations. Since all of them happen to give him his number he will start texting all of them one by one as he is friendzoned. One of them will not friendzone him and then it will a completely whole new game and once they reveal to each other about their feelings, they will both say to each other, "I never thought about you in such a way, but you have truly opened up my heart and by the blessing of Allah, this can work out.." But in the back of their mind they know it's all haram if they continue what they're doing with consulting an older mentor that understands the situation like a chaplain or youth director/mentor. The best way to go is to inform their parents about it in a serious manner, if they aren't able to do so then they're not spiritually prepared to take if further in a Prophetic manner. If people are becoming "religious" - whatever that means - for attention, the fact that they changed really doesn't mean much.

I can make 2-3 times longer, but whatever tho, ya know? I need to work on myself. I've been there, done that. The thing that saved me were 3; 1. The Infinite Mercy of Allah, 2. The Prophet's endless prayers at night, and 3. the prayers of those who actually cared for me and prayed for my guidance at the last 3rd of the night. Subhan Allah.

Coming to an End - Or is it? | An Old Poem

I wrote this poem in 2011 and I just opened a poetry book and began to read this. I started to smile and tear because it brought so many memories - both good and bad. I don't like being all emotional and touchy but I didn't know how else to say it.


Some blameworthy language has been substituted for other words or a wordlifter.



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Till my tear drops drip into flakes,
And my heart starts to shake,
I'll never forget how I was made,
Never let ish get in my way.
I've been there and I was a treated that way before,
I was stuck there stressed, trynna open some door,
I was condemned and you made feel low these passed few years,
I had no hope and my life was surrounded by fears,
One day I'll do the same and you can see how you like it,
8 years of humiliation doesn't taste so good, but I suggest you should try it,
All you'd wish is to peacefully leave this world,
Before you get jacked up and start obsessing over a girl,
You're gonna try to gain at this stage but all you'll do is lose,
It's too late to realize that what your friends said was true.
You regret ignoring their advice and there's nothing you can do,
Just pretend to hope to pray to God and uplift the inner fool.



There was a time I went bowling and I started to hustle,
Got in a fight with a friend and ripped up some muscles,
After that incident they said that I can't achieve anything worthy in my life,
Others said, "Good luck at finding a committed wife."
So that day I felt low and told myself to go get tickets and a visa,
And I'll go serve the people suffering in the city of Gaza.
Every plan that I had, I knew was never going to happen,
So I started writing poetry and started rapping,
It's a good way to chill me down just a bit,
But I prayed so I can stop feeling like ish.
Some people say truth that others don't accept and wait to die,
While others don't want to understand and get away with lies.
It's not that we're weak and can't change to save ourselves and people from these lies,
We're just to arrogant and wannabe self righteous to even care to try.
We just need to open our eyes and see how we treat others,
From seeming to be drama causing sisters to misogynistic brothers.


Overlook how the inexperienced judge you for who you are,
If you actually pay heed, you will never get far.
I know this sounds cocky, but people should start to be the new me,
Not give a ......, surrender your mind and heart and you'll feel so free.
I just ignore them talkers and keep doing my thing,
Do what I can as long as I'm avoiding them sins.


If I told you my dreams, you'd say it's nothing,
If you were to be put in there, you'd start running,
Running from the past, and a very bad night,
You'll call upon your Lord to shed wisdom's light.
You won't understand them till a very long time,
Until you come to the moments while committing a crime.
All I can do now is pray with all my heart,
And I won't stop until things stop falling apart.


1/25/2011