I wrote this poem in 2011 and I just opened a poetry book and began to read this. I started to smile and tear because it brought so many memories - both good and bad. I don't like being all emotional and touchy but I didn't know how else to say it.
Some blameworthy language has been substituted for other words or a wordlifter.
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Till my tear drops drip into flakes,
And my heart starts to shake,
I'll never forget how I was made,
Never let ish get in my way.
I've been there and I was a treated that way before,
I was stuck there stressed, trynna open some door,
I was condemned and you made feel low these passed few years,
I had no hope and my life was surrounded by fears,
One day I'll do the same and you can see how you like it,
8 years of humiliation doesn't taste so good, but I suggest you should try it,
All you'd wish is to peacefully leave this world,
Before you get jacked up and start obsessing over a girl,
You're gonna try to gain at this stage but all you'll do is lose,
It's too late to realize that what your friends said was true.
You regret ignoring their advice and there's nothing you can do,
Just pretend to hope to pray to God and uplift the inner fool.
There was a time I went bowling and I started to hustle,
Got in a fight with a friend and ripped up some muscles,
After that incident they said that I can't achieve anything worthy in my life,
Others said, "Good luck at finding a committed wife."
So that day I felt low and told myself to go get tickets and a visa,
And I'll go serve the people suffering in the city of Gaza.
Every plan that I had, I knew was never going to happen,
So I started writing poetry and started rapping,
It's a good way to chill me down just a bit,
But I prayed so I can stop feeling like ish.
Some people say truth that others don't accept and wait to die,
While others don't want to understand and get away with lies.
It's not that we're weak and can't change to save ourselves and people from these lies,
We're just to arrogant and wannabe self righteous to even care to try.
We just need to open our eyes and see how we treat others,
From seeming to be drama causing sisters to misogynistic brothers.
Overlook how the inexperienced judge you for who you are,
If you actually pay heed, you will never get far.
I know this sounds cocky, but people should start to be the new me,
Not give a ......, surrender your mind and heart and you'll feel so free.
I just ignore them talkers and keep doing my thing,
Do what I can as long as I'm avoiding them sins.
If I told you my dreams, you'd say it's nothing,
If you were to be put in there, you'd start running,
Running from the past, and a very bad night,
You'll call upon your Lord to shed wisdom's light.
You won't understand them till a very long time,
Until you come to the moments while committing a crime.
All I can do now is pray with all my heart,
And I won't stop until things stop falling apart.
1/25/2011
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