It's moments like this that I wish this feeling can stay with me 24/7 and I can serve my mom more than she thinks she deserves - and then my dad afterwards but at the same time too since he understands the rank of a mother in the sight of a child much more than me. I remember a while back a friend asked me if I would rather get married or live with my parents. I told him that I'd get married and live next to my parents for the rest of my life regardless of where they live because I want them to be happy and live a comfortable life after all they've done and sacrificed for me. Even though it is natural for parents to say things and accuse their kids of things that aren't true, I look at that and take it as a blessing that helped me understand things better. Too bad I am a bad child and a poor servant to Allah, the Prophet, and my own biological guardians. I feel too inadequate when I lower myself in front of them which I don't do enough. I should be kissing their hands on a daily basis and sit with them and absorb their immense wisdom. Suhba with one's parents is much more important than suhba with one's shaykh. I feel like it's a bonus for me since alhamdulillah I come from a family with a really religious and spiritual background of orthodox Islam. I can talk like this on social media, trying to be humble which I'm horrible at, but in reality my heart is so dark and hard like a burnt chocolate chip cookie that I cannot even handle to experience such moments myself. Unfortunately I am both a poor child, a poor student, and a poor servant.
May the prayers of our parents be accepted at all times. May they be forgiven for all their mistakes due to their stress for all they've done. May Allah let them live a long healthy, happy, and safe life. May Allah let us be able to lower ourselves in front of them. May Allah let them be pleased with us and be happy with us at all times. May Allah let them allow us to follow our passions that will benefit ourselves and others. May Allah admit them into the Garden with the Prophet without judgment and let us be with them. Amin!
- a wannabe faqir
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